literature

002. Complicated -- Disorder (Food Porn Poem)

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Literature Text

I.
I had dreams of finding myself


standing in a candy store
with one cent to spend, only one and maybe ten
thousand thousand types of confection -- this was back
when a penny would buy you 
a handful of a sweet.

I read stories of the past
where that really happened --

to near-real girls, struggling to choose
which pushcart vendor would get 
their allowance pennies: judging the earnest
sing-song-singing, their hands slapping
their biceps against November's rime --

to the ravished eyes
of a near-real boy:  chapped fingers,
worn from gentling the colt
in the barnyard, reaching 
all at once for the dishes of jams
and jellies, of fried apples-'n'-onions, helping
themselves to a slice of every pie.

II.
There is something about the manner of this father
I see on television, a cook
treating his young daughters
to pomegranate seeds and their juice,
that captivates and directs me to write
a poem about this whole business.

It complicates the process
that I am not permitted to choose
the penny candy, to taste the pies,
to drink the sanguine fluid.  The flesh
is willing but the spirit is weak. 
Thirsty and hungry, trapped in a corner
store by the cracker-pickle-pork barrels,
I wait and wait and wait and never sip
or bite or chew a drop or crumb.
For the AllPoetryIsGolden 100 Themes Challenge.

Questions:
1)  Does the title work for you?  Do you have any suggestions for a better title?
2)  Do the "story" stanzas work all right -- do they make sense as they are or need further explanation?
3)  Is it clear in the end that "I" am struggling with an eating disorder?
© 2014 - 2024 fernknits
Comments2
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fernknits's avatar
Thanks for taking the time and effort to provide such thorough feedback -- I am overwhelmed with gratitude!  Quite a lot of what you've said resonates quite well with me.  I am letting it stew and will go back over it when I'm ready to revise.