A frozen January -- cold

Hello there;
I like the emotion of the piece; it's quite powerful which as a parent I understand the wonder and beauty of children being born. I'm familiar with the poem from Dickinson as well and I like the response you had towards it. I am however going to branch my critique off your poem specifically ignoring hers for the most part.

I do have a few suggestions:
I do understand what you were trying to do with the hyphens; however I feel they break up your poem more than do it justice. If you're set on using them, I would suggest adjusting them a little bit.
For example: A frozen January -- cold
In Spirit -- I lie down,.
I feel like you could remove the first set: "A frozen January, cold
in spirit - I lie down" When you use the hyphens I stop as though it's a new part and I read it "A frozen January. Cold in Spirit. I lie down." and it's more fragmented than whole.

Another thing the previous critique mentioned so I won't get too in depth about is the capitalization. It seems random and I re-read it to see if there's a reason why it's so prominent.

I've always appreciated the use of rhyme in poetry; it can be an art in itself.
I noticed the first stanza you use down and sown, which at first I tried fixing in, but the last stanza you use prayer and flower, which sort of balances the two out; whether intentional or not I think worked out quite well for you.

By stanza:
1st
I like this stanza a lot; I mentioned the hyphens above; but my suggestion here would be A Rose in Heaven sown since your daughter was born in January I would suggest changing it to "from Heaven" or using a word other than sown, such born. Sown is to plant; which would be conception but adding from would be bringing it down, having been created.
2nd
I really like the imagery you use here; I can picture one proud mama in this stanza. I love the lines "I touch my lips to baby toes; so sweet the taste". It's beautiful, and honest.
3rd
"The Child - enchanted laugh peals out." I would either an "an" to the beginning or pluralize "laugh" to laughs giving it action into the poem rather than an "I'm telling you" feel of it. Keep in mind Show not tell.
4th
Again, another beautiful set.
The 3rd line "Redeems from winter tired soul" it still seems fragmented; perhaps change winter to winters or to "from a winter", depending on how you want to change it. Personally I think "a winter" would be better as it would describe yours and/or the child's more than winters the season.
"turns Spirit poor to rich" I love this! I love the sense of wholeness you describe that your daughter brings. It's beautiful.
5th
I love the ending; it's strong and powerful. It gives off a sense of raw love that is both beautiful and amazing. I've heard it so many times "there's no love stronger than a mothers", and it's very true. You captivate that very well right here.

Overall I think the poem could use some work with the wording and format; but as for the poem itself it's quite strong when you clean it up. It's honest, powerful and heartfelt full of love and beauty. The imagery and emotions you convey are amazing. Keep writing!

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TORi
***please do not pay attention to the stars, the critique is in what I wrote***

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